You Know You're Ghetto When.....
(Reasons 133 - 263)
133. You wear combat boots with jeans rolled up at the bottom.
134. Your overweight but love wearing skin-tight clothes, no matter how reveling and offensive it looks.
135. You have ever worn stirrups, pumps, and socks - all at the same time.
136. You wear bright plastic jewelry and neon colored clothes.
137. You wear a fake gold chains with car symbols on them.
138. If you and your mother are fighting over the same man.
139. You wear Dickies to church.
140. You're definitly ghetto if you still listen to James Brown, period.
141. You remember when your mom took you to the movies and brought potato salad, fried chicken, and a large bag of chips.
142. You're called the radio station for any reason but to request a song.
143. All you listen to is rap and 'hip-hop' music.
144. Your son is not even 3-years-old, but already has his ears pierced.
145. Your 4-year-old can't talk but can dance the "Tootsie Roll"
146.Your certainly ghetto if these are your *favorite* music groups: "Earth Wind and Fire", James Brown, Ray Charles, Climax, Teena Marie, The Jackson 5, Village People, Kool The Gang, Barry White, and Diana Ross.
147.Your certainly ghetto if these are your favorite clothing designers: G-Unit, Sean John, Baby Phat, Roca Wear, Apple Bottoms, Echo Red, Fubu, Gucci and J-Low.
148. If there are more funeral homes than churches in your neighborhood.
149. You sell your grandmother's TV for drug money.
150. You sell your mother's funiture for drug money.
151. Your boss pays you with cash.
152. You don't pay your rent until you get a 3-day notice.
153. You tell everyone all your private business.
154. You talk back to the TV.
155. You talk on the phone while on the toilet.
156. You and your co-workers loudly discuss what you do in bed.
157. Your fake nails are soooo long, people often wonder " How the hell does she wipe her @$$?!?"
158. You shave off your eyebrows, then draw them back on with eyeliner.
159. You line your lips with black eyeliner.
160. You buy all your hairstyles from the beauty store.
161. When people ask you if that's your (real) hair, you just say "Yeah it's mine, I paid for it!"
162. You wear blue eye contacts and a blonde hair weave.
163. There's reusable bacon grease in a Maxwell House can in the center of the burners your stove.
164. Your lipstick always matches your clothes, no matter how bright orange, purple or blue they are.
165. You have rolls on the back of your neck.
166. You run and get the pots out when it rains, because your roof leaks and you never had it fixed.
167. Your drinking glasses use to be jelly jars.
168. You go to the store with hair rollers in your head.
169. You still refer to your stereo as the "Hi-Fi"
170. You drive a Cadillac around on a spire tire.
171. You're overweight and wear strech jeans that are bursting at the seams.
172. You're overweight and wear a size 17, but all your clothes are size 10's.
173. You have to put a towel over your funiture so that curl activator won't stain it.
174. The heels of your feet are so ashy, it looks like you've been kicking flour.
175. You've never been to the dentist and your mouth is full of "snaggle" teeth.
176. You clean your teeth with a matchbook or business card.
177. You clean your ears with a bobby pin, key or a ink pen cap.
178. You wear clothes with the tag still on them.
179. You wear any of the following colognes: Brute, Jean Nate, Hai Karate, Chloe, Old Spice, English Leather, Charlie, Faberge'.
180. You don't think your clean unless there is visible baby powder on your neck & chest, and you ain't even no baby.
181. You never learned how to swim because you did'nt want to get your hair wet.
182. Your mother cleaned the floor to educate you, and now you think you're better than her.
183. The person you're speaking to does'nt speak english and you just talk louder.
184. Your late for everything, and try to act like it's a cultural expression.
185. You buy/sell/or make bootleg CD's and DVD's.
186. If you complain about the poor quality of a bootleg DVD/CD.
187. You know you're ghetto when you get a payday loan to go shopping.
188. Your ghetto if you use hair grease as lotion AND lip gloss.
189. You used the same needle and thread on you dress that you use to put in your hair weave.
190. If you use a hotdog or hamburger bun for anything other than it's purpose (ex. for toast or a grilled cheese sandwich)
191. You brush your teeth with your fingernail.
192. Your are ghetto when you try to use your food stamp card at the ATM.
193. The majority of you funiture is from Rent-A-Center.
194. You make more than 5 trips to the corner store in less than a hour.
195. You ghetto if you say the following: Hella, pimp, and "da bomb" as adjectives.
196. You decorate your house by Wal-Mart.
197. There are dusty fake flowers on your dining room table.
198. You get bored and peel the skin of your lip.
199. You car is more than 3 different shades.
200. Your car windows are covered with plastic bags.
201. You know you're ghetto if you use "1-800-Collect" to get your message across (without actually having the call accepted)
202. Your whole neighborhood shares the one cable TV line in order to save money.
203. You have to kick the TV to make it work.
204. Your kids have to blow their Nintendo to make it work.
205. Your hair is 99% synthetic.
206. Your mom has 7 containers of grease under the sink.
207. Your hair has more grease in it than KFC's chicken bucket.
209. You pick up partially smoked cigarettes off the ground and re-smoke them.
210. You use kerosene to run your car instead of buying gas.
211. Every cop in town knows you on a personal basis.
212. You consider canned food as a "special feast".
213. You hot-wire your car to start it...Everytime!
214. You reuse pop cans.
215. Your natural hair color is brown and your crochet braids are red & gold.
216. You hair is so tall at you have a designated seat at the back of the movie theater.
217. You use more coupons and food stamps than actual money.
218. You think your 'high-class' because you're drank $30 Moet and Chandon.
219. If your album collection is composed of tapes full of songs you're recorded off the radio, your certainly ghetto.
220. If you have gold teeth and are homeless, your ghetto.
221. You steal baskets fron the supermarket.
223. All your towels have a hotel name on then.
224. Your idea of heating the house is leaving the oven on.
225. You have more gold teeth than original ones.
226. If you grow dread locks accidentally, not only are you ghetto but nasty.
227. You think it's cute that your kids can't read or spell at age 8.
228. You drink soda simply called Cola, Orange, Grape etc.
229. You hair is yellow and your complexion is near blue.
230. Your hoop earrings and big enough to double as bracelets.
231. You own more VCR's than TV's (it's OK to get rid of them once they brake...)
232. You buy all your appliances from the "guy around the corner".
233. If you can run around the block barefoot, are a special ghetto.
234. You wear a Charles Barkly SUNS jersey.
235. You wear an airbrush t-shirt that says, 'RIP BOONMAN'.
236. You see dead roaches around your house but don't throw them away.
237.You breed childern like roaches(you already have 4 kids and can barely afford to feed them, but yet pregnant with another one) - Note: this is not a criticism to people with more than 4 kids, however a criticism of the unmarried, poor female who lives on welfare and only has kids just to get money from men.
238. You house is furnished because of a riot.
239. You and your spouse won't get married because it will interfere with your government check.
240. Your afro is shaped funny because you started growing it from a flat-top.
241. You buy a walkie-talkie because you don't want to pay a cell phone bill.
242. You sleep on a mattress that's on the floor.
243. You're male and approach females with "Say, boo...what's yo' name is" your ghetto ( and ignorant)
244. 2Pac was played at your family member's funeral.
245. The choir at your church sings "Ain't no party like a Holy Ghost party cause a Holy Ghost party don't stop"
246. Your still jammin' to Kris Kross and any Hammer (MC Hammer) album.
247. You think African is a lauguage.
248. You ask stupid questions like "Are they really black people in England?"
249. The people working at the welfare center know you on a first name basis.
250. Your name starts or ends with La, Shaq, Kei, Q, neisha, or te'.
251. The Salvation Army does'nt knock on your door for a donation.
252. You say "I know what I'm talking about" - when you have'nt even made a point!
253. You wear lime green anything - sorry but there is really no excuse for that.
254. Lil Kim is your idea of a strong black woman.
255. You eat with your mouth wide open.
256. You think "P Diddy" is talented.
257. You write names of your "Homies" or favorite rap artists on your jeans with a marker.
258. Your idea of fine dining is a Big Mac Meal with a sundae.
259. You wrap your presents with newspaper.
260. You name parts of your body - come on, you know what I'm talking about!!!(so sad)
261. Your only friends are the "boys from the block".
262. You ask your impotent boyfriend for a paternity test.
263. You think Mozart is an ice cream flavor.
