Got More Ghetto?
1. You use up your paycheck to get your hair and nails done, but borrow money to get your baby some milk.
2. You're watching the Jerry Springer show and see someone you use to date.
You're Ghetto If....
3. You'd rather have a big screen TV than a computer.
4. You use duct tape to hold your sneakers together.
5. You're ever taken batteries out of your smoke detector and put in your pager.
6. The batteries in your remote control are held in place by a piece of tape.
7. You're always looking for your bother or sister to pay your rent.
8. You use a rubberbands to hold your socks up.
9. Your address is written on the front of your house with chalk.
10. You steal free samples from the store.
11. You steal condoms from Wal-Mart.
12. You reuse cooking grease for over a month.
13. The police know your whole family, not just you.
14. You use 50% coupons at the dollar store.
15. You wear a $250 pair of shoes, but don't have a job.
16. You have more drug connections that the FBI.
17. You stay unemployed to avoid paying child support.
18. Your kids ask the sunday school teacher if there's a ghetto in Heaven.
19. You know friends that know how to do and get everything - but a job.
20. You have lime green shoes to match your lime green bag, that you got on sale to match your lime green dress.
21. You wear cut out stockings as knee hi's with rubberbands to hold them up.
22. You dig out deodorant with your finger....then put it under your arm.
23. You use baby oil, lotion and vaseline to grease your scalp.
24. Your neighbors get put out of their apartment, and you go through their stuff that's sitting outside.
25. You wear other people's underwear.
26. Your pants are so baggy, your whole butt hangs out.
27. You're neck does the 'snake' when you're in a heated argument.
28. Your curfew is determined by a street light.
29. You first astablished credit at Rent-A-Center or Chech-O-Matic.
30. Your credit is no longer excepted at Rent-A-Center or Check-O-Matic.
31. You talk jive.
32. Everything you eat requires a touch of hot sauce.
33. Ramon noodles and spam are considered delicacies.
34. You think salmon only comes in a can.
35. You're ever bought pickled pig feet from the corner store.
36. You got something for free but still complain about it.
37. You're ever gone outside with a jheri curl bag or half-styled (unfinished) hair out in public.
38. If you use a blowout kit for your hair, your ghetto period.
39. You own a hair pick in every color.
40. You walk down the street with a hair pick in your nappy head.
41. You use any of the Ultra Sheen products.
42. Your certainly ghetto if the song "One Nation Under a Groove" is your 'anthem'.
43. You buy panty hose at the grocery store.
44. You carry around a cell phone with no service.
45. You can never keep a cell phone, house phone or pager for more than a month.
46.You only pay for basis cable but get all the extended channels because you bought an illegal box from "G" down at the rec center.
47. A 'track meet' describes an appointment with your hair stylist.
48. You wear your 'house clothes' to the store.
49. You wear flip-flops outside the house.
50. Your aren't allowed to dance at the night club anymore because men slip you dollar bills.
51. You and your mother go to night club together.
52. You're ever sent your kids to the grocery store with food stamps.
53. You're ever played "kick the can".
54. You put flash lights on your car because your ride does'nt have any headlights.
55. The braids on your head stick up like buckweed.
56. You're male and don't have a job, don't have much of any education - but all you can think about is how many girlfriends you have.
54. You fall in love with someone at a strip club.
55. Your mama hangs wet clothes to dry outside on the fire escape.
56. You know your ghetto if you buy liquor and guns on the same block.
57. You talk like..."Where the phone be at".
58. You call you grandmother "Nana", but don't know her real name.
59. You KNOW you're ghetto when every night for dinner you have fried chicken, collard greens and cornbread with red Koolaid.
60. You get excited whenever you see black people on TV.
61. You've ever used more than 4 curse words in one short sentance.
62. Your 7 year-old curses worse than you.
63. You go to your friend's house just to eat and leave.
64. Your kid gets in a fight at school because some other kid disrepected cornbread.
65. You car is cleaner than your house.
66. You live next door to a crack or a whore house.
67. You can't afford to pay your bills, but are walking around in a $300 pair of jordans.
68. No one can ever pronounce your name.
69. You watch and laugh at BET's comic view.
70. If you're ever seen "Booty Call" - ghetto.
71. You use plastic or cardboard as a window replacement.
72. If your nickname ends in "dawg" or "dogg", your ghetto.
73. You drink beer out of a brown paper bag.
74. At a drive-through window, you have to open your car door because your window won't roll down.
75. You have to unlock the car through the window.
76. You bootleg EVERYTHING! (CD's, DVD's, video games, etc.)
77. You boil water on the stove to take a hot bath.
78. You don't have a swimsuit, so you go swimming in your underwear.
79. You know your ghetto when you still play the 'original' nintendo.
80. Your bedroom/bathroom has no door.
81. You steal from your job.
82. You wash your clothes in the sink.
83. You have a car phone but no car.
84. Your screen door has no screen.
85. You use Tussy.
86. You wear FUBU anything.
87. No matter were you move to, there's always a crack house on your block.
88. Your kid asks you for McDonald's, and instead, you make him a homemade sandwich with grease running down the plate.
89. At church, you get mad and call someone out because they sat in YOUR seat.
90. You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down because you just got your hair done.
91. You take 2 hours getting ready for church, get there late and leave early.
92. You open your bible and cough from the dust that flies out.
93. You think you got a good workout because your sweating from all that hard screaming and shouting you just did at church.
94. You don't lift your hand up during worship because your acrylic nail is broken.
95.The only scripture you know is "Jesus wept".
96. You lie on an application to get a job and when you get cought, you get mad and quote something out of the bible.
97. You own 'Section 8'.
98. The only credit card you have is a food stamp card.
99. Your car cost more than your house.
100. You live in the projects but have furniture like rich people.
101. Your grandmother whipped you with whatever she could get her hands on.
(Ways To Tell If You Might Be A Blackneck)
